Positive discipline for good mental and physical health as well as happy childhood
There comes a time when every parent is worried about how to keep their children in the highest discipline. When caring for an angry teenager or an angry teenager, you need to keep your temper under control. No parent wants to be in such a situation, and the basic thing is that abusing or beating children does not solve the problem.
Fortunately, there are other more effective methods, one of which is positive discipline. We consulted with Lucy Clover, a professor of pediatrics at Oxford University, a family social worker, as well as a mother of two, about how a positive discipline approach helps parents maintain a positive relationship with their children and teach them responsibility, support, and self-discipline.
No child is bad, only behavior can be bad.
Why Positive Discipline?
“Certainly parents don’t want to shout or beat their children in front of them. When we are stressed, we abuse or beat them without seeing any other way,” says Professor Clover.
The evidence is clear: abusing or beating does not solve the problem, but in the long run it does more harm than good. Repeated abuse or beatings can negatively affect a child’s life. Persistent “lethal stress” can have negative consequences for children, such as dropping out of school, depression, drug addiction, suicide, and heart disease.
1. Plan to spend time with children
Spending time alone with children is important for building a good relationship with them and for other positive things. “There may be only 20 minutes or even 5 minutes a day that you can spend with your children washing dishes, singing songs or talking while drying clothes.” Professor Clover says. “It’s really important that you pay attention to the kids. So, turn off the television and phone and get to their level and spend time together.”
It’s like saying, “Take this medicine, it’s not going to help you, and it’s going to make you sick,” says Professor Clover. “If we know something doesn’t work, it’s better to take a different approach instead.”
The concept of positive discipline focuses on developing good relationships with your children and setting expectations in practice, rather than what not to do or be punished. The good news for all parents is that this concept works and can be put into practice as follows:
2. Praise the positive
As parents, we focus on the negative behavior of our children and make them think that this behavior is bad. Instead of trying to recover, they wallow in their sadness and thus, experience more failure.
Children need praise, which makes them feel loved and special. “Even if the child only spends 5 minutes playing with their little brother or sister, look and appreciate it.” Professor Clover adds. “It can reduce the need for discipline by encouraging good behavior.”
3. Set expectations clearly
“It’s much more effective to tell children clearly that you should do it than to tell them you shouldn’t do it,” says Professor Clover. “If you tell your children not to scatter things around, or to be nice, they may not understand what to do.” Using sentences like “pick up all the toys and put them in the box” makes you more likely to understand what you are looking for.
4. Focus creatively
Professor Clover adds that it can be a useful strategy to divert your child’s attention through any other positive activity when they are behaving awkwardly – by changing the topic of conversation, starting to play a game, or taking them to another room or walking out. You can focus on.
It is very important to do any activity on time. Doing something with the understanding that something is going wrong is also distracting. If you can understand a few moments ago that your child is getting impatient, irritable or angry, or that two children want to play with the same toy at the same time, then any unpleasant moment can be prevented.
5. Use calm results
Children need to learn as they grow up that doing something will pay off. If this is explained to the children well, through this simple process they will learn good manners and also feel responsible.
Children can be encouraged to do good things by saying that bad behavior can have bad consequences. For example, if your child chews on the wall, you can tell them not to do so, which will end their playing time. This will give them a chance to change their behavior as well as warnings.
“If they don’t stop behaving badly, it’s not easy to say, but don’t be angry that I did it,” adds Professor Clover.
“You’re creating a constructive response for your children. The method of calm results has been shown to be effective in finding out what happens if you misbehave,” says Professor Clover, praising them highly if they still don’t stop.
It is important for positive parenting to always behave in the same way and for that reason it is important to look at the results that children show and make them realistic. “You can take a teenager’s phone for an hour, but if you take it for a whole week, it can be uncomfortable to see or understand their behavior.
Spending time with young children
Spending time alone with children can be fun – and it doesn’t cost anything! “You can imitate their style or play the drums or sing along,” said Professor Clover. “Amazing research shows that if you play with children, their brain development will be better.”
Spending time with older children
Adolescents, like young children, want to be praised and to be well-liked by others. “I love being close to them and dancing or talking about their favorite singer,” says Professor Clover. “They may not always show it, but they are happy. And, it’s an effective way to build relationships in their own style.
“Ask them to help you make some rules,” says Professor Clover. “Sit down and discuss with them and make rules about what to do and what not to do at home. They can even help you decide what the consequences of unacceptable behavior are.” By participating in this process, they realize that they are now becoming independent and mature.
Tips for parents during the COVID-19 epidemic
The epidemic has caused rapid and dramatic changes in families, with parents at the center. Here are some tips for parents to manage these complex days as well as other stressful times:
1. Stop
We all know how stressful it is when children behave awkwardly. Staying in the present or taking a step back at such a time is a simple but useful trick. Professor Clover calls it the “press the stop button.” “If you take five deep breaths, you will now feel calm and alert. Parents around the world have said that the method of stopping is very helpful.”
2. Take a step back
Professor Klover says that parents often forget to take care of themselves. “Take some time for yourself, like doing something to keep you happy and calm while your children are asleep. Yes.
3. Compliment yourself
As a parent, it’s easy to forget the amazing things you do every day and you should give yourself credit for that, says Professor Clover – ask yourself every evening: ‘What did I do best with my children today?’ And know that you have done a very good job.
“You’re definitely not alone,” he says. “Millions of people around the world are trying and sometimes failing and then trying again. We will all face this epidemic together.”
